Sweet, sweet Solitude
by Monstergirl19
Summary: Finally Cicero had found the new Listener. His job is done and his life is content. Then a thief comes along and threatens to steal everything Cicero holds dear. CiceroxFemaleOC
1. Chapter 1

**Sweet, Sweet Solitude.**

Cicero and Skyrim (and all of it's characters) belong to Bethesda.

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><p>He was singing one of his morbid songs again, I couldn't help but smirk, some of them were just so random they amused me; I guess I had my own morbid sense of humour myself.<p>

Nazir was still unsure why I spared him, Babette was as well, but over the months she began warming up to him again. Sometimes I myself wondered why I spared him, I guess I pitied him. He'd looked after the Night Mother for so many years, gone crazy from her silence. His dedication was sure to be rewarded someday, and I rewarded him with his life.

He rushed up to me jumping up and down, flapping his arms like wings.

'Listener, oh sweet kind Listener, did you like Cicero's song? Oh please say you did!"

I gave a playful roll of my eyes. 'Of course Cicero'

He gave a tremendous "whoop" and began to jig on the spot 'Would you like to hear another sweet, powerful listener?'

"Go on then.."

He cackled excitedly and bowed 'Cicero lives to serve' and he began singing about snapping bird necks. 

* * *

><p>We continued like this until we reached Solitude, where my next contract awaited me. We arrived past midnight, perfect, everyone would be asleep and the guards were always easy to slip pass.<p>

We sought the target, which hilariously turned out to be the city's executioner Ahtar, I'd seem him perform beheadings many a time during my two years in Skyrim. We stole into Jala's house where he lived and found him sleeping soundly in his room. I drew my newly sharped steel sword and brought it down separating his head from his shoulders, I smirked…how fitting. I looked over to Cicero who was merrily jigging on the spot, hand over his mouth so not to release his famous cackle.

We took all the valuables we could find and slipped back out into the city, and climbed down the city walls. I went down second; tugging the rope we had slid down, and folded it back into my knapsack. Once we were far enough, we sought a safe place to camp for the night. Staying in Solitude would have been a poor choice, and we could have raised attention to ourselves. 

* * *

><p>After discovering a small cave, I lit a torch and we checked for any signs of life, be it bandits or bears. Thankfully there were none, and to keep it that way I hid the entrance with branches of trees, rocks and hanging moss.<p>

Once a few more torches were lit and stuck in the ground for light I rolled out my bedroll and sank into it, Cicero did the same. I guess he felt it was safe to be himself by now and started talking his usual sing song voice.

"The Keeper and the Listener! On the Hunt! Cicero could sing all day about how the Listener successfully beheaded the be-header ooh yes he could hee hee heee!"

My stomach gave a low rumble, causing Cicero to laugh harder.

'The Listener is hungry…perhaps she'd like a sweetroll or a carrot!"

"Now that you mention it, I do have a few sweetroll's"

I rummaged around in my knapsack and pulled out two half squashed sweetroll's and passed one to Cicero. He took it gratefully and began to munch on it intently. I chewed in mine slowly. Lost in thought. My eyes wandered to my companion, Cicero, the red Jester was happily chewing and humming as loud as he could. I admit, I liked bringing him along on contracts, I felt a little guilty not bringing out the new initiates more often for training, but they were just so…boring. I wasn't one for teaching anyway.

Although Cicero could be a handful and become excruciatingly annoying at times, he'd proved he was extremely loyal and a well-practised assassin, he had been in the Brotherhood for at least 15 or so years by now, and he'd gotten me out of many a tight spot on the roads and during contracts. I'd never admit it, but I liked him better than anyone else in the family.

"Listener! You have been staring at bashful Cicero for a while now. Does he have sweetroll stuck in his teeth? Or up his nose? Oh! Silly Cicero!"

I gave a small jolt, not realising I'd been staring.

'No, no sweetroll, you look perfectly clean. No, I was just thinking about how well our contract had gone' I lay down, suddenly feeling exhausted.

'I'm off to sleep now Cicero, Sleep well'

'Oh I will Listener! You too, may dream of the void and out sweeeeeeet Mother!' 

* * *

><p>We were up before dawn, I put out the torches that were still alight and packed away my bedding. I bathed in a small secluded watering hole ('Cicero will not peek! I promise!') And finally we set off on the long walk back to Dawnstar.<p>

Finally we'd arrived at dusk. It would have been a shorter trip if it weren't for those Gods forsaken bandits and thugs on the road. I swear we had to take down at least 15 all up. With the civil war over I'd thought that some of the vagrants on the road would have been cleared up by now, what with those meddling Stormcloak guards on the roads again. Lazy bastards, they were most likely watching the mead in their tankards than their duties.

Once inside Cicero left my side immediately, practically dancing towards the Night Mothers stone coffin.

'Sweet Mother, beautiful, wonderful, cruel Night Mother! Let Cicero tell you all about the Listener's success, Oh yes indeed!'

I let him be; I'd go and see if there was a contract ready for me later. For now, I was weary, and kindly the one of the newest initiates. A young Nord girl named Mylah made me a hot bath. I thanked her and she went off about her own business. I sank into the water, groaning in pleasure as the heat eased my aching muscles; today had been a long day. It was good to be home.

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><p><strong>AN: **Hello readers,

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

It's been a long while since I've written anything, so forgive me if I'm a bit rusty.

I'm currently obsessed with Skyrim (half the reason I've been slack at writing) and finally decided, I loved Cicero enough to write about him.

This story won't be very long as I was bursting with ideas for this story and just had to get it out, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

I've decided I will be changing my username to Monstergirl19/Monster19 because this username is the same as my deviantART, and I will be writing mature themes in this story, so it'll be a little awkward if my friends and family stumbled across it.

Anyway, I'm sure to update soon as I've almost finished writing the story itself in my journal.

Thanks for reading; please review let me know how I'm doing, or if I need to fix anything.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

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><p>Three days later during breakfast I was in the middle of a conversation with Babette when then Night Mother finally called for me.<p>

I was to travel to Whiterun and speak to a Nord by the name of Hulgran in the Drunken Huntsman and receive his contract. I walked to my quarters and began to pack enough for a few days. Once I was done, I walked to Cicero's quarter and knocked on the door, I was greeted with no response. The stupid Jester was probably still asleep.

I was right; I opened his door and found him snoring, half hanging off the bed. I walked over to him and shook him awake.

'Cicero, a contract awaits me in Whiterun, I was wondering if you wanted to come?'

He jumped up off his bed with no warning almost knocking me off my feet.

'Argh! Cicero!'

'Oops sorry Listener, Cicero gets a little too excited sometimes'

'Sometimes…' I muttered.

'Anyway, I have a contract in Whiterun, pack your things if you want to tag along, we leave in an hour'

'Oh yes Listener! Of course Cicero wants to tag along! Cicero will be ready in a jiffy'

'Good, meet me at the stained glass window when you're ready' and I left him to pack.

Cicero was ready in 15 minutes, I was still eating my toasted bread when he came skipping in the room.

'Cicero is ready Listener and his blade oh so sharp and at the ready'

I looked on at him amused 'Very well, let's go then'

I bade farewell to Babette and Nazir, the other two initiates were still asleep. We climbed the ladder of the secret entrance, it was snowing today, well usually that's a normal day for Dawnstar, I pulled my furs about me tighter and we began the journey to Whiterun.

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><p>As we passed Mortal, Cicero was recounting all of his favourite contracts he had in Cyrodiil when he first joined the Brotherhood.<p>

'I miss Cyrodiil' I muttered. Cicero looked at me curiously

'Listener, you have been to Cyrodiil?'

'Yes indeed, I have, I was born there in fact, in Chorrol. Daughter of a Blacksmith, and when he died my mother tried to make ends meet my forcing me to marry some wealthy Breton pig. I ran to Skyrim two years ago.'

I was surprised I was telling him this, I think he was just as surprised himself. I didn't feel to strange telling him, I'd grown rather close to him this past year and he welcomed my presence long before I was Listener as I was one the members who actually welcomed him to the Skyrim sanctuary, I pitied him, after reading his journals to find him when I was ordered to kill him for attacking Astrid. All those years alone with the Night Mother's corpse, trying to hear her voice, driven insane from the loneliness and the waiting, once I found him, I couldn't bring myself to kill him, so I left without a word.

I remember giving his journals back, apologizing to him for having read them, but he promptly took them back with a wide grin, so I don't think he minded that much.

'Cicero is glad the Listener came to Skyrim, he doesn't know what would have happened to the Brotherhood if you did, there'd be no Dark Brotherhood and the Night Mother would have stayed silent…forever' and said in a high pitched tone which sounded like he was about to cry, then his voice turned sinister.

'And that harlot Astrid, that fake, pretender, like Rasha would have still been leading, how Cicero hates pretenders' I looked at him, he looked ready to kill at the thought of her, he noticed me watching and his face split in a grin.

'But Cicero needs not worry now, for the Listener, almighty and powerful has been chosen!' and he began to dance. I stifled the urge to burst out laughing and pressed on.

* * *

><p>Whiterun was in the near distance, and I put on my hood and mask that covered my face save for my eyes. Cicero put on the black hooded robe, to conceal our identities when we took contracts, and we head into the city.<p>

The guards watched us but said nothing as we head into the Drunken Huntsman. The wood elf who ran the place looked at us wearily but offered us bartering, I shook my head and sought the contact.

'Hulgran?' I said softly the Nord who shook in his boots at the sight of us. He gave a small nod and gestured us to a darker, more secluded part of the building. While Cicero stayed back and kept watch.

'You're the…you know? Dark Brotherhood?' He whispered. I nodded wordlessly and he continued.

'I need a man dead, he goes by the name Vantus Loreius, he lives on a farm just north of here, we, have bad history and I want revenge. Kill him in any way you see fit, and if his wife intervenes kill her too' he reached into his bag and pulled out a fat coin purse.

'I hope this is enough to cover everything'. I took it and nodded

'It will be done'

'Thank...thank you, and if anyone asks, this conversation never happened.' And he promptly walked out of the Huntsman and into the night. We followed suit a minute after and exited the city.

* * *

><p>Once far enough from the city and well out of earshot we pulled off our robes and hoods.<p>

'Cicero, guess who we've got to eliminate?'

His face turned to excitement and he began to giggle.

'Ooh tell, do tell curious Cicero! Who is it, does Cicero know him?'

'I'm sure you remember Loreius, the stubborn farmer I had to convince to fix your wheel?'

He gave a high pitched cackle and jumped a foot in the air.

'Ha Ha! Stupid Loreius for not helping poor, needy Cicero. Luckily you were there Listener to help out stranded Cicero and our dear Mother'

* * *

><p>We reached the farm shortly it wasn't much of a walk, we snuck up to the small farmhouse and I told Cicero to wait and keep watch ('yes Cicero, I know you wouldn't move an inch even spiders ate your face off, now ssshh!')<p>

I picked the lock and slid into the house, there was a warm fire crackling in the other room, and I looked around to see if anyone was awake.

Not a sound.

I crept into the bedroom and found Loreius fast asleep on his bed. I looked around for his wife. Where was she? I made up my mind, before banking on it any longer, I drew my dagger and hovered over Loreius and quickly sunk it into the flesh of his neck, he gave a loud gurgle, his eyes the size of saucers before they slowly closed and his body fell limply to the side.

As I was about to draw my blade, I stopped and gasped.

A sharp pain started in my right shoulder and soon branched out to my entire torso, sending bolts of pain up and down my spine. I looked down and saw the end of a dagger sticking out from the right side of my chest.

I sunk to the floor with a loud painful yelp and saw Loreius' wife standing over me panting heavily with a look that could kill. My vision blurred as I began to fall and I saw a flash of red and black before I succumbed to the warm, comforting darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I woke up, feeling warm and comfortable. There was music playing and people talking. I thought I was dead, until I heard Cicero's frantic voice in hushed tones.

'Oh Listener please, wake up, stop scaring poor Cicero' he was borderline sobbing, I could barely open my eyes and he was only a blur of red and black, he hadn't noticed I'd awoken yet.

He began muttering the same thing over and over again, I strained to listen.

'The Dark Brother is nothing without the Listener; Cicero is nothing without the Listener'

It turns out that Cicero had carried me back to Whiterun and rented us a room in the Bannered Mare. He stated to the guards that we were visiting Loreius on business for crops when his wife walked in and saw me and thought Loreius was having an affair with me, she stabbed me and Loreius, resulting in Cicero having to kill her. As farfetched as it sounded the guards bought it and wished me to a full recovery.

The inn owner, Hulda called upon the local healer who fixed me up well enough to travel home, I still felt weak but I was determined to get back to the sanctuary and out of the public eye. We hired a horse and carriage to Dawnstar and made it back safely. We waited til the carriage pulled away before we made towards the secret hatch behind the rocks and we climbed down the ladder and into the Sanctuary.

For the next few days Cicero never left my side, not even to sleep, he talked to the Night Mother of course, but he simply returned and slept on a bedroll bedside my bed. I told him I'd be fine but he stayed, and for the first time I saw him as a mature grown man, he broke into song every once to cheer me up and he still muttered to himself, but it was the first time I'd seen him worried. It was flattering but I knew I'd be fine.

Babette helped tend to my wounds everyday and gave me a dose of healing potion every few hours, Nazir checked up on me, as did the initiates Wulfren and Mylah.

It was funny; although we were a family of seasoned and trained assassins we still cared and looked out for each other like any other normal family did.

Well, we were the only family each other had.

_6 months later_

In my quarters was counting all our gold and dividing them evenly into separate coin purses. I kept the loot, solid gold trinkets, family heirlooms, that sort of stuff, aside; I had every intention to travel to Riften and sell it to Delvin Malloy, he was an old friend of the Brotherhood, even before I joined. It'd been a long while since I sold him any of the stolen goods I looted from my contracts.

I gave everyone their pay and made up my mind. I began packing for Riften.

There was a knock at my door and with an absent mind I welcomed them to come inside. It was Cicero. He came in practically bouncing off the walls.

'Another hunt Listener? Please tell Cicero we are! Shall Cicero get to packing too?' he asked hopefully.

'No just me this time, I'm off to Riften for business with the Thieves Guild'

His face fell.

'But Cicero will be bored and lonely without the Listener!'

I sighed. 'Can't the Listener have some time to herself once in a while? I'll only be a couple of days besides I take you on every other contract don't I? let me be just this once.'

He pouted and nodded solemnly. 'As the Listener wishes'

He sat at my desk playing with my quill by sticking it in his hat and humming to himself.

Once I was done packing I bade him farewell and he followed me to the entrance.

'Are you sure Cicero can't come? What if the Listener gets lonely? Or hurt? Not that humble Cicero doubts the Listeners skills, certainly not, no no! But Cicero will miss you'

He looked genuinely sad. I felt so very guilty and I reached over and gave him a hug.

'I'll be fine Cicero I'll-ack' I cut off as he almost squeezed the air out of me. He waved me goodbye and I mounted Shadowmere and set off.

'See you in a few days'

I would really miss him; this would be the longest we'd be apart for the first time in over a year. But I was definitely looking forward to having my own space for the first time in a long time.

The journey to Riften was unusually quiet, and pleasant. As soon as I arrived I head straight towards the Ratway, I hated the smell of the place, but I covered my nose and pressed on, shortly making it towards the Ragged Flagon.

I was greeted warmly as most of the guild recognised; but only as a supplier, only Delvin knew I was with the Dark Brotherhood. We had an agreement to keep my identity private, I didn't want too many people knowing who I was naturally.

'Ah Allo luv' long time no see, how's business?'

'Thriving and you?'

'Positively wonderful, I spect' yeh heard about our little Mercer Frey incident?'

'Of course, glad the bastards dead, so the new Guild Master? Treating you well I hope?'

'Take a look 'round luv', you ever seen this place in such a state? Guild's been at its best for the first time in yonkers'

I gave a small chuckle. 'It does indeed look spectacular, congratulations on all your successes'

'Anyway luv' I don't think you're ere' to stand around talking mindlessly, yer here for business no doubt, take a seat, make yerself at home. I'll get yer a drink, what's yer poison?'

'Just a mead will do' I said as I sat down across from him.

The bartender brought me my drink and walked away.

'Now, to business, what 'ave you got fer us luv'?'

'Yes, in fact here' I pulled the full satchel I was carrying up and placed it on the table.

He opened it and inspected a solid gold urn and swore to himself.

'Good Gods, all this in a year? Luv' you really 'oughta think about joining up wiv' the Guild, I keep telling yer'

I laughed. 'I'm fine, so do we have an agreement? Will you buy everything?'

'Of course luv' of course, come wiv' me and we'll get yer papers sorted.'

We stood and I followed him behind the bar and through a secret passage way in a large room, a cistern of sorts. There were many other Guild recruits resting, talking and eating.

One of them walked up to us with an interested expression. He was a Breton for sure.

'New recruit Delv?' his voice was coarse and gravelly.

'Nah Cynric, just business, erm in fact, could you keep this lovely lady comp'ny while I go fetch the official papers'

'Sure' he said with a smile, and I watched as Delvin walked off to another part of the room and back at the Breton.

'So business eh?' he asked, he had a cocky demeanour about him, but I couldn't help but feel warmly towards him.

'Maybe'

'Don't see many other Breton's here in Skryim,' cept Mercer and those Forsworn lunatics, but Mercer, he's, well not apart of the guild anymore, it's nice to see your own kind once in a while'

'You me both' I smiled at him.

He paused thoughtfully before asking, 'So how long is business keeping you in town?'

'Two days, why do you ask?'

He gave another cocky smile 'How about drinks at the Bee and Barb? Say about 8, tonight?'

'You're on' I said confidently, what was the harm? I was only going to be here for couple days, might as well have some fun.

He grinned triumphantly and walked away 'see you then'.

Delvin came back with the papers which I signed and we talked a little more, he gave me the gold and I exited the cistern through their secret passage way in the graveyard so I could avoid the Ratway.

I made my way to the Bee and Barb and booked myself a room for the next two nights, rested for a while then went downstairs and sat in a two seater table by the wall and opened a book.

As usual I became quite immersed in my book that I jumped a little when a voice spoke out to me.

'Yeah, I took you for the book type' I looked up and saw Cynric with two bottles of mead at hand.

'You're right on time' I mused.

'Of course I am, can't make a date and not be punctual, we'll leave that to the Nords, drunken louts' he joked.

We laughed and he took the seat opposite me.

'So I never caught your name'

'What's it to you?'

He rolled his eyes playfully 'ok, , I suppose you want to know all about me first.'

I raised an eyebrow 'well?'

'Well, The name's Cynric Endell, Breton, I'm 31, born in High Rock and as you already know, member of the Guild, and master lockpicker.' He then pointedly looked at me, I sighed.

'Elawyn Wirthlir, Breton, I'm 21 born in Cyrodiil, supplier to the Thieves Guild' _lie! _Well that last part, but seriously, who'd casually come out with 'oh yes, and Listener of the Dark Brotherhood'? I barely knew this man. As I said, I don't like many people knowing my real career. Who would?

'So , how exactly did you become so good at picking locks?' I said diverting the conversation.

'Well, well, it's quite the tale'


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

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><p>We walked by the lake, just chatting. Last night we hit it off like a house on fire.<p>

I don't know, he wasn't what most would call, handsome or good looking, but his rugged appearance and demeanour held a certain attraction, and it was nice to have another Breton around for once apart from Babette.

I still hadn't touched on my real line of work, even though he mentioned to me last night that he was close to joining the Dark Brotherhood. I might mention it another time, but for now we were just good friends. Instead I told him that I was a thief from Cyrodiil but left due to the war and instead of joining a guild I chose to work alone.

* * *

><p>He finished telling me a story about some crazy friend he had in High Rock.<p>

'Sounds like my friend Cicero, he's a hoot…in fact he hoots all the time, he's a nutbag, but…I guess he's like a best friend to me' I said laughing.

'Male best friend eh? Sounds like I have a rival' He laughed but his expression held a certain annoyance.

'Rival? No, Cicero, he's just a friend' I suddenly felt horribly guilty, for leaving him behind.

'You'll definitely be coming back to Riften sometime soon right?'

'Huh?... Oh! Yes, of course, I plan on-'

But I was interrupted when he swooped down and kissed me. I instinctively went tense and pushed him away gently.

'What are you doing?'

He sighed 'I'm sorry, I know, I'm going too fast. It's just, I've been wanting to do that all night'

'All night? We just met yesterday. It's alright, and yes, I plan on coming back to Riften more often, I have more things I need to sell' and I with that I kissed him on the cheek. I felt flattered from the attention he gave me but, it was just way too early.

We soon parted. He went back to the Guild headquarters and I to the Bee and Barb to rest for the journey home tomorrow.

* * *

><p>'LISTENER! ' Cicero screeched 'Cicero missed you'<p>

I smiled as the crazy Imperial danced in circles around me whilst chanting;

'The Listener's home again, home again'

I admit, I missed him too, but after retiring to my room all I had was one thing on my mind.

A certain Breton thief.

* * *

><p>'To Riften again Listener? And without taking poor Cicero? You take Cicero along to other contracts but never to Riften. And Cicero likes Riften, I do! Thieves and<br>Cutthroats. And Cicero gets so bored without the Listener! For the Listener is the only one who likes merry, jolly Cicero. Please take Cicero, please!'

I sighed as I packed my Knapsack, trying to ignore Cicero's childlike pleas, but inside my gut burned a guilt like fire.

I was going to see Cynric again. We'd formed a relationship of sorts over the past 8 months and I daren't bring Cicero in fear him revealing the truth about my association with the Dark Brotherhood, and also because I avoid talking about Cicero to Cynric, as he frowned in displeasure every time I mentioned him.

Cicero followed me to the entrance as usual, looking defeated.

I hugged him and to my surprise I felt hard, rippled muscle under his Jester outfit. He'd definitely been training to keep himself busy while I left for my week long trips to Riften.

He looked at me sadly as I brushed his shoulder length hair out of his face. Although childlike in nature his face was mature and oddly handsome, he was thirty something after all.

'Cicero will miss you, Cicero always misses you. Of course mother is always there for Cicero to talk to and keep him company. But Cicero deeply misses the Listener when she's away; the Listener is Cicero's best friend'

Gods, he was going to rip my chest open with his words, _I have to get out of here _I thought, as my gut gave a horrible twitch of guilt.

I pat his shoulder wordlessly and left the Sanctuary.

* * *

><p>'There she is!' Cynric beamed at me as he helped me off Shadowmere and soon he pulled me into a kiss.<p>

I smiled half-heartedly at him.

'What's wrong my love?'

'Oh nothing… just, long journey'

_Lie_

All I could think about was Cicero's sad expression when I left. I always felt guilty leaving him behind, and still he was as loyal to me as ever. We used to do everything together. Now I just pushed him aside like an unwanted pamphlet. I felt horrible.

But I'd fallen for Cynric. Hard. And sure enough when we made our way to my new house Honeyside, he made me forget all my problems. 

* * *

><p>It had been a week since the Listener had gone to Riften, and left poor Cicero here. Why couldn't she take Cicero to Riften?<p>

What was in Riften that Cicero couldn't know?

Surely the Night Mother hadn't requested the Listener to keep going to Riften all those times for so long.

Riften, Riften, Riften… WHAT WAS IN RIFTEN?

Cicero has asked his dear Mother where the Listener was going, why she didn't take Cicero, leaving him to be all alone. But Mother never answers poor Cicero, noooo, not ever, Mother only talks to the Listener.

Listener where are you?

Didn't the Listener like Cicero anymore? What has he done wrong? Cicero is loyal, oh yes, so very loyal.

The others don't like him, not even the un-child, not even the new brother and sister.

Cicero is so lonely, so lonely, so lonely. Oh so lonely.

What is she doing?

Cicero wants the Listener home. Home again, HOME AGAIN!

* * *

><p>It was just after dusk, as we walked past Goldenglow Estate. Cynric's calloused hand enveloped mine when he suddenly stopped.<p>

'What is it?'

He clucked his tongue and looked around awkwardly before speaking slowly.

'Elawyn, I've been thinking. Been thinking a lot lately. About you, about us'

'Us?'

'I was wondering, if you'd be interested…in a life together?'

Did he just propose to me? My heart gave a leap.

'You mean like, get married?'

He nodded, a hopeful look on his face.

I felt my lips break into a wide grin.

'Yes, I am more than interested'

He grinned just as wide.

'I'm glad. The two of us' he said, as if tasting it on his tongue 'All of Skyrim should get ready to step aside'


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

* * *

><p>I was getting married.<p>

I thought I'd never see the day.

I wrote to Nazir the very next day, finally telling the truth about my long trips to Riften and that I will be gone for a few months as Cynric and I planned on going to High Rock together. I also told him to keep the news to himself, as Cynric and I planned the ceremony to be a private one. Not even the Thieves Guild was informed of our decision. We'd break that to them later.

Cynric turned out to be a private being himself, to which I was thankful for.

I wanted to write Cicero a letter and tell him everything and apologize for ignoring him for so long, but I couldn't. Why not? He was a friend after all, shouldn't friends be happy for one another?. Then again Cicero's train of thought was not one that resembled any other persons.

* * *

><p>The wedding was to happen in two weeks from now. We arranged everything with Maramal up at the Temple of Mara.<p>

I thought over everything as I lay in bed, Cynric at my side fast asleep. I looked over at him in the dim light.

Now should be the time to tell Cynric the truth about everything, the Dark Brotherhood, and that I was their Listener. Yet every time I tried to bring it up, I lost the courage; I couldn't bring myself to do it. What if he left me? Engaged to a murderer, I said it over and over in my head. It didn't sound very appealing.

But I couldn't hide it forever, he'd find out somehow, especially when I had to go back home and perform my rightful duties as Listener, what would I tell him?

_The truth!_, my mind yelled at me.

Did I want to be the Listener? It did happen all so fast. But I am the Listener, I couldn't just leave. The Night Mother only spoke to me…It was my duty. No I couldn't leave. I didn't want to. I loved my family, assassins and murderers alike. I wanted to be the Listener, I had to be.

I sighed and kicked myself mentally for getting myself into this position. I was so happy with my life, with everything, and yet the Brotherhood seemed like the thorn in my side.

Babette would understand my getting married, and most certainly so would Nazir, hence why I chose to write my letter to him, he was always calm and level headed.

And what of Cicero?, how would he take it? The Listener went off and got married. Would he feel like it's betrayal to the Brotherhood? To him? Or would he not care?

My mind wandered, and I thought back to the time in The Bannered Mare when I was barely conscious and I heard Cicero muttering.

'The Brotherhood is nothing without the Listener. Cicero is nothing without the Listener'

_Cicero is nothing without the Listener._

What did that mean?

Did he mean? no surely not.

Why did I think of him so much?.

_Because he's a good friend, and you feel guilty for pushing him aside all these months_

Yes, that was it.

My mind whirled.

_Was this marriage a good idea?_

Yes of course it was a good idea. I love Cynric, I love him so much. I'd never loved anyone else in my entire life. But by the way my heart leapt every time I saw him, kissed him, made love to him and heard his voice.

I was sure I loved him.

Was I?

I sighed and forced all these thoughts from my mind, as I was getting a headache.

I rolled over and wrapped an arm around Cynric's warm body. He grunted in his sleep and nuzzled closer to me. I looked up at him one last time and smiled before closing my eyes and allowed sleep to take over me.

* * *

><p>Every day I thought of Cicero, and the guilt I felt. I missed him and sometimes I was sure I ached for him. I missed his morbid jokes, how he burst into song and dance.<p>

Heck I miss the way he refers to himself in third person.

He was indeed my best friend, and now I've pushed him away.

* * *

><p>There was two days left until our small wedding. Everything was set.<p>

My dress, a small cake and a bard to sing as we cut it together.

I was excited, I really was, nothing mattered at the moment, I made sure to keep my mind clear.

I strolled past the small stalls in Riften looking at all the merchandise, when a man came running in my direction.

It took everything in me to not draw my blade from instinct, when I realised it was a courier.

When he reached me he was out of breath, so I let him calm down and regain himself before he spoke. From his pocket he drew a sealed note.

'This is for you, a man, in Dawnstar paid me a heck of a lot of gold to get this to you as soon as possible, he said it was urgent'

I took the note and pocketed it.

'Thank you, here for your troubles' and I handed him a reasonable sum of gold, and he walked to the Bee and Barb, most likely to get a drink.

I looked around and realized everyone was looking at me, confused about why someone was so eager to run up to me.

I smiled awkwardly.

'My Mother must be ill again' I said lightly and walked back to my home in Honeyside.

* * *

><p>Once inside I ripped the note from my pocket and unsealed it.<p>

It was from Nazir.

_Listener,_

_I received your note and I congratulate you. My best wishes go out to you and your fiancée._

_But that is not why I send this letter. I understand you must be very busy in your preparations for your wedding, but you must return to the Sanctuary immediately._

_Cicero is not himself, by which I mean, he is no doubt crazier than he was before. Three days ago he flew into a rage for no reason; he killed all the hostages in the torture room and destroyed the training room. We tried to catch him but he fled the Sanctuary._

_He returned yesterday, badly injured but he won't say how, and refuses any treatment Babette offers him, he says he won't do anything unless the Listener's comes home._

_He's locked himself in his quarters and we've just left him alone as he was getting hostile. But he's in a bad way and I fear for the rest of our safety. You yourself know what he's capable of._

_Please come home, your family needs you._

_Sithis be with you._

_N._

I folded the note with trembling hands. I wanted to rip it up wanting it to not be real.

Cicero was hurt!

I needed to see him immediately.

I began to write a lengthy letter to Cynric, apologizing for leaving him just days before the wedding, but I was needed at home, and that the wedding had to be postponed.

Once finished I placed the note on the bed and I began to hurriedly pack my things.

I was in such a rush that I didn't hear the door open and close.

'Going somewhere?' said a rough voice.

I gave a small yelp and jumped in surprise, as I saw a confused Cynric standing in the doorway.

'Cynric! My love you scared me'

'You going somewhere?' he repeated.

'Cynric, I'm so sorry but I'm needed at home. Cicero's been badly injured. I need to see him at once'

'And the wedding?' his face was beginning to show signs of anger.

My face fell, 'I'm so sorry, but we need to postpone it. I know that it's such late notice, but I received the news today, but I have to leave, please understand'

'Doesn't he have anyone else to care for him?'

'No he doesn't. Which is why I need to go, I'll be back as soon as he's well'

'So you're just leaving me? Two days before our wedding?'

'I'm not leaving, I'm coming back. Cynric please try to understand'

I pulled him into an embrace, and kissed his cheek.

'My friend needs me'

He groaned and ran his hand over his face and through his black hair.

'Go, I'll sort everything out here, and be careful on the roads'

I smiled 'Thank you!'

I pulled him into a long kiss, and pulled the strap of my knapsack over my shoulder. He escorted me to the stables. I kissed him once again as he helped me onto Shadowmere.

I waved him goodbye and gently tapped my heels into Shadowmeres side, and she began to walk.

* * *

><p>The journey seemed to stretch on forever, and every disturbance I came across made the trip seem an hour longer.<p>

How badly was he hurt? What if I didn't make it in time?

My gut jolted in discomfort at the thought. I squeezed Shadowmeres sides a little harder.

She grunted and broke out into a steady gallop.

'I'm sorry Shadowmere, I know, but we need to hurry, by Sithis do we need to hurry'.

* * *

><p>I arrived Dawnstar well past midnight. I dismounted Shadowmere as fast as I could and ran towards the hatch behind the rocks, almost tripping over the large log in the process.<p>

I ripped back the hatch and climbed down the ladder, jumping the last few rungs.

I opened the stained glass window and saw Nazir sitting at the table, his nose in a book.

He turned and saw me, standing immediately.

'Listener! You've returned, Welco-'

'Where is he?' I half demanded.

He stopped and nodded. 'Follow me'

I followed him to Cicero's quarters; he unlocked the door and began to walk away.

'Nazir' I called out after him.

'Yes Listener?'

I tried to give a smile.

'It's good to see you again'

'It's good to see you too Listener, welcome back'

And he with that he walked back to the main room.

I turned to Cicero's door and knocked.

'Cicero? It's me, the Listener! I'm home. Can I come in?'

There was stirring and a hacking cough.

'Listener? Is that you?'

Without another word, I opened the door and stopped in my tracks.

'Cicero!'

He was covered in blood and bruises. Deep gashes patterned his face and neck. His lower lip split right open.

I slammed the door shut behind me and ran to his side.

'What happened? Why aren't you accepting treatment?'

He coughed and tried sitting up, but I placed a gentle hand on his chest and stopped him.

'No, don't. Just lie down, Cicero, tell me what happened?'

He looked up at me, a wide grin forming on his face.

'Listener! You're home. Cicero is so happy'

And with that he closed his eyes and went limp.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

* * *

><p>He remained unconscious for the next few days.<p>

In this time, I dressed and treated his wounds with the potions Babette made.

Nazir and Wulfren helped me carry him to my quarters, as my bed was warmer and more comfortable, and his room was a mess.

After that I let no one touch him, for some reason I felt like this was my fault, I didn't know why, it was my job to nurse him back to full health.

Mylah cooked me my meals as I tended to Cicero so much I myself forgot to feed myself.

* * *

><p>On the third night, I sat at my desk reading when I heard stirring and coughing behind me.<p>

I turned to see Cicero had sat up, looking around with a confused expression upon his face.

'Cicero!'

I rushed over and sat by his side and took his hand into mine.

'Listener, you're home!' his voice was feeble and hoarse, not at all his loud and merry voice.

I nodded.

'Nazir sent me a letter, I came home immediately, how are you feeling my friend?'

'Cicero feels a little sore, but he is glad to see the Listener at home where she belongs'

'Cicero, please, tell me what happened to you?'

He went quiet and looked slightly uncomfortable.

'Cicero hopes that the Listener will forgive me. Cicero saw the letter you had sent to Nazir, and when Cicero read that the Listener was getting married. Cicero could not hold in his temper and he destroyed the training room, which Cicero regrets, yes. I do, I do! But all Cicero could think about was the Listener leaving the Dark Brotherhood forever.

Without the Listener there would be no Brotherhood… And without Elawyn, Cicero would never be happy again. Cicero would be nothing'

I was stunned; he's said my name, called me, by my actual name. Before I could answer he continued and I remained silent.

'So Cicero left the Sanctuary, to travel to Riften to try and convince the Listener to not get married. But Cicero was intervened, yes, I was. By a group of bandits, stupid, lowly bandits, eight of them. Cicero managed to cut down every one of them, but as you can see they got Cicero badly. He had no choice but to return home, knowing he'd failed and the Listener would get married and leave us all. Cicero would rather have died.'

* * *

><p>I was fighting tears by the time he'd finished. I took in a hard breath to stop myself from blubbering.<p>

'Cicero, my dear friend. I would never ever leave the Brotherhood, you are all my family. I wouldn't leave for anything. Not even marriage.'

He let out a loud groan of frustration, then pain.

'Oh Listener! Don't you see? You can't get married, you can't, can't, can't!'

'Why not Cicero!'

'Because' he began cautiously.

'Because you see Listener, Cicero needs you. Cicero…he…loves you'

He said the last part so quietly I almost did not hear him.

I stared at him in shock.

His eyes widened in worry.

'Listener! Cicero is sorry if he offended you, pretend foolish Cicero said nothing at all!'

I shook my head.

'No Cicero, don't be sorry, it's fine. You just lay back and rest'

I stood and began to walk away.

'Listener?'

I turned to him, looking at him questioningly.

'You are not mad with Cicero?'

I forced a smile.

'No Cicero, of course not. I just need time to think. Now rest'

He nodded and sank back into the pillow, twiddling his thumbs.

* * *

><p>I walked the cold streets of Dawnstar, my mind running over everything that had just happened. Everything made sense now, but was just as confusing at the same time. I felt a swell of happiness, then a wave of hot guilt.<p>

I now realised why I thought of Cicero so much, all the guilt for leaving him all alone, why I missed his company.

I felt for him.

Suddenly the wedding seemed like a bad idea, that I'd rushed into it too fast.

No, I couldn't do this to Cynric. I loved him for Sithis' sake! And only him.

Didn't I?

No, no. This wedding will happen. I want it to happen, I want to spend the rest of my life with Cynric. I'd made a promise and I was damned if I were to break it.

* * *

><p>The next day I wrote a letter to him;<p>

'_Cynric,_

_My love, I am so sorry to have up and left so suddenly. I feel so terrible, truly I do. But I have to stay longer I'm afraid; my family here needs me, as does Cicero. He's been badly injured and I cannot just leave him until he's well, the wedding will have to be postponed a little longer. I will write often._

_I hope you can forgive me._

_I love you._

_~ Elawyn.'_

I sealed the letter tightly and paid a young courier, sending him on his way to Riften before I walked out of the inn and back to the Sanctuary.

* * *

><p>Two months had passed, Cicero had fully recovered. He was back to his old jolly self; he didn't need me to nurse him any longer.<p>

And yet I stayed in Dawnstar, writing Cynric excuse after excuse as to why I couldn't return as of yet.

I didn't know exactly what was holding me back.

Perhaps it was because I had returned back into the flow of life back in the Dark Brotherhood, fulfilling my duties as Listener, everything was normal, the way it used to be.

Cicero hung around me constantly, in fear I'd slip away and back to Riften. Telling me that everything was better now and the family was complete.

Because of this I rarely brought him with me on contracts anymore. It was the only time I had space and time to think by myself.

Cicero begged me to take him.

'On the next one, on the next one' I'd always say, but I never did. I needed to think.

* * *

><p>I travelled to Riften for my next contract. I had to admit I was slightly nervous in fear I'd run into Cynric and he'd somehow convince me to never go back, but half of me wanted it to happen.<p>

But thankfully I was to meet my contract giver behind the stables in the dead of night. I wouldn't even have to enter the city, much to my relief.

The moon shone brightly tonight, bathing the city walls in light. The trees casting dark shadows on whatever they towered over.

I dismounted Shadowmere and pulled on my hooded black robes and made toward the stables.

The contact was there already, their face also shrouded by a long black hood. A male.

He turned to face me.

'Dark Brotherhood am I right?' he began in a low whisper.

I nodded.

'Continue, who must be eliminated?' I replied in an equally hushed tone.

'I want a man killed, slowly, and painfully. I'm not too sure about his whereabouts, all I know is he resides in one of the Northern holds of Skyrim.'

'The Dark Brotherhood requires a name' I hissed.

'Oh I know his name' He chuckled

'Some Imperial bastard by the name of Cicero'

My guy gave a horrible jolt and my heart skipped a beat. I knew that voice. I knew that chuckle!

I reached over and ripped the contacts hood back.

'Hey! What do you think-'

My fears were true; his face was shocked and angry.

'Cynric…'

* * *

><p>A.N I'm not sure If I've mentioned who Wulfren is, my memory is pretty bad. Anyway If I haven't he's the male initiate in the Dawnstar Sanctuary.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

* * *

><p>My blood began to boil. <p>

'How do you know my name? Do I know you?' 

'Look for yourself' 

I pulled my own hood back, and I felt the moonlight bathe my face in light. 

'No!...Elawyn?' 

He staggered back a few steps, his face turning whiter than the moonlight. 

'You? You're Dark Brotherhood?...an assassin?' 

'Listener, actually' I said coolly. 

'Why? Why didn't you tell me?' 

'I was, but I didn't know how. I kept asking myself, who'd want to marry a murderer? And the Leader of assassins nonetheless?' 

He tried to find words but I cut in before he could speak. 

'And you! How could you? How dare you! Hiring an assassin to get my friend killed? For what? Jealously?' 

His expression turned to anger, matching my own. 

'What the hell was I supposed to do? We were perfect, then he had to go and get hurt and to ran to him instead of staying and get married to me. You postponed our wedding, for him!' 

'I couldn't leave him to die! I'm his only friend. I nursed him back to health and you try to get him killed? You betrayed me, my own fiancée the only man I have ever loved, betray me!' 

His face softened. 

'Elawyn, I'm…so sorry, I'd never meant to hurt you' 

'Well, you've succeeded.' 

He tried to pull me into an embrace, but I recoiled in revolt. 

'Don't touch me, there is no sorry. I was going to come back, eventually, and if you truly loved me…Then you'd wait' 

'I will wait this time! Please, let us start again' 

He looked so pathetic. 

'No Cynric, I'm sorry for not telling you about my real life, I should have told you sooner, but now that I think of it, I'm glad I didn't. Maybe this was a test, to show me which path to choose, my life at home, as rightful Listener is my path and I'm thankful.' 

'Can't you even look past this? And forgive me?' 

I shook my head. 

'No, this is something I cannot forgive.' 

I pulled off the gold necklace he'd given to me as a gift and threw it on the ground. 

'There will be no wedding, for I want nothing to do with you. Goodbye Cynric' 

And with that I turned and walked away. 

I mounted Shadowmere and we began to walk away. I heard his footsteps walk behind us, then they stopped and I heard them fade away. 

The journey home seemed like a dream, I was almost blind with fury, but I didn't cry. I forced the tears back. 

And suddenly I felt so weak, I leaned my head on Shadowmeres neck and stroked her mane. 

'Take me home Shadowmere, make haste' 

She broke in a gentle trot, and I closed my eyes, the rhythm of her hooves sending me to sleep. 

* * *

><p>She whipped her head back gently with a snort. <p>

I opened my eyes and saw that we were in front of the Black Door. 

'Thank you Shadowmere, my dear friend' 

I dismounted her and stroked her, she responded by nuzzling my cheek. 

I answered the door's question and went inside. 

It was late, as no one was around; I assumed they'd be fast asleep. 

I was glad, I didn't want to be disturbed. 

I walked silently to my quarters and opened the door, where I found Cicero sitting on my bed, humming and reading a book. 

He looked up and saw me, a large grin spreading across his face. 

'Listener! You've returned. Cicero is glad to see you' 

Without a word I walked over to my bed and fell face first onto it, buried my face into my pillow and burst into tears. 


	8. Hopefully writing again soon

Hey guys,

Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's been 8 months (I think) since I last updated.

..oops :P

I do apologize, but I've had so much on mentally this year. That and my laptop decided to die and I had to get it repaired a couple of months ago and now I FINALLY have Microsoft Word installed once again.

I haven't written anything at all in a while, I just haven't felt up to it I guess, long story short;

I left a five year relationship and am trying to get my life and depression on track. No need to go into a sob story :P

Anyway, hopefully with a little motivation I will continue my Cicero story as it's really so close to being finished, and I apologize for anyone waiting for an update. Just give me a bit of time and hopefully I can get my act together again.

Thanks for reading, reviewing and adding my story to your favourites etc. while I've been gone. I appreciate it a lot

Monstergirl19


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